So I was walking home from work the other morning, not paying much attention to my surroundings. I was musing over the quirks of worldly justice; drunks who beat a person to death can make bail shortly after, but an evil genius whose world domination plans are foiled may be doomed to multiple life sentences in prison. Is taking over the world really that bad? Wouldn't it be easier on people, not to have to vote for their politicians, who don't listen to them anyways?
So engrossed in this train of thought was I that I failed to notice the shadows which followed me, until it was nearly too late. Only my keen Anti-Ninja sense helped me avoid a gruesome beheading as the shadows solidified and attacked me. Ninjas, sent from my evil arch-rival, no doubt! I dodged and weaved, avoiding their strikes as deftly as possible, for I found myself unarmed and at a serious disadvantage.
The assassins moved impossibly fast, even by Ninja standards. Their garb was black from head to toe, and no physical traits could be noticed. They also seemed to be able to use their feet as dextrously as their hands in combat. Then I spied the awful truth. As I delivered a mighty back kick to one of the assailants, he tumbled backwards and a long, thin and furry tail protruded from his lower back.
Ninja Monkeys! My nemesis had spared no expense in hiring these denizens. The anti-matter grenade I had left in his lunchbox must have really pissed him off . . . Then, as all hope seemed to be lost and the Ninja Monkey leader closed to deliver the finishing blow, I remembered the one weakness of these furry warriors : Ukelele Polkas.
I quickly unstrung my Ukelele (I practice during slow shifts at the hotel) and began a spirited Polka called "The Squidging Helga" (believe me, you don't want to know how the name was picked). Suddenly, the Ninja squad began to dance, Bavarian style, and I was able to slip away and plot my revenge. Perhaps it is time for me to unleash my army of Killer Penguins . . .
Death By Logic!
Thursday, March 23, 2006
Tuesday, March 21, 2006
The "Joys" of Serving the Public
Well, I'll probably post another, more fun post later . . . just wanted to write a bit here. Been on shift at work for about 1.5 hours now, and within the first half hour we had quite possibly one of the most annoying people on the planet come by the Desk.
D had been warning me about her as I started my shift, since she'd been given hassle earlier by this lady. One of those "the other place is so much better" people . . . "I don't like how the Lounge has been changed here, it's ugly" . . . "The rooms are so much nicer over there, and the staff are so nice" . . . "How come whenever I call about a room you tell me you're full?" . . . "How come these people have a room when you said it's full?" (we'd had a cancellation).
And then she wins some money on our VLT's and as I pay her, she says "I'll just go take this money now and pay for my room at the other place", and under her breath as she leaves (but just loud enough that we could hear her) "seeing as you don't like me here."
Now, except for the last comments, I wasn't around to catch the rest. And that's probably why I still have a job, since throttling patrons is generally frowned upon. But as she left, I thought "We don't like you here? And how could that possibly be?"
If you're looking for a summary or a point to this post, you'll be dreadfully disappointed. Just a mini-rant, no direction or point to make really. As I said, if all goes well, I'll add another post tonight, and if not, I'll add one soon.
D had been warning me about her as I started my shift, since she'd been given hassle earlier by this lady. One of those "the other place is so much better" people . . . "I don't like how the Lounge has been changed here, it's ugly" . . . "The rooms are so much nicer over there, and the staff are so nice" . . . "How come whenever I call about a room you tell me you're full?" . . . "How come these people have a room when you said it's full?" (we'd had a cancellation).
And then she wins some money on our VLT's and as I pay her, she says "I'll just go take this money now and pay for my room at the other place", and under her breath as she leaves (but just loud enough that we could hear her) "seeing as you don't like me here."
Now, except for the last comments, I wasn't around to catch the rest. And that's probably why I still have a job, since throttling patrons is generally frowned upon. But as she left, I thought "We don't like you here? And how could that possibly be?"
If you're looking for a summary or a point to this post, you'll be dreadfully disappointed. Just a mini-rant, no direction or point to make really. As I said, if all goes well, I'll add another post tonight, and if not, I'll add one soon.
Friday, March 10, 2006
Online Tests: Do 'em and Post your Results in Comments!
K, do like the title says. Do the tests, cause they're fun and I like them. Then post what you got in the comments (or on your own blog, but be sure to give me your link so I can see what you got). *Oh joy!*
Take the What High SchoolStereotype Are You? quiz.
Kay, some true, some not so....either way, I'd have classified myself as this in High School too.
What Type of Villain are You?
mutedfaith.com.
Same deal here, true but not so....*shrug* Anyway, it's just fun.
Which Final Fantasy 8 Character are you?
You don't like being around people but they don't let that stop them. For some reason others see you as a good leader and keep putting you in charge when you would be much happier locked in your room away from the world.
Yay, Squall! (I was hoping to be him, and kind of figured my personality closely resembles his.
Take the What High SchoolStereotype Are You? quiz.
Kay, some true, some not so....either way, I'd have classified myself as this in High School too.
What Type of Villain are You?
mutedfaith.com.
Same deal here, true but not so....*shrug* Anyway, it's just fun.
Which Final Fantasy 8 Character are you?
You don't like being around people but they don't let that stop them. For some reason others see you as a good leader and keep putting you in charge when you would be much happier locked in your room away from the world.
Yay, Squall! (I was hoping to be him, and kind of figured my personality closely resembles his.
I can live with that. And that's it for this round. How'd you guys do?
Thursday, March 09, 2006
Dear God that's Creepy!
Go check out this site:
Mystical Ball
I found it when I was looking for fun quizzes to pass on to you all.....I have no idea how it works, but it's seriously freaking me out, so I thought I'd pass it on to you guys.
I'll post quizzes that I think are fun as I find them, but for now, be afraid! The Internet can read your mind!!
-KojiroMusashi
Mystical Ball
I found it when I was looking for fun quizzes to pass on to you all.....I have no idea how it works, but it's seriously freaking me out, so I thought I'd pass it on to you guys.
I'll post quizzes that I think are fun as I find them, but for now, be afraid! The Internet can read your mind!!
-KojiroMusashi
Life On The Edge : High Prairie
Okay, I don't mean to make this really negative, so if it starts getting that way, just press "reset" and pretend all of the above was spoken through a gi-normously huge grin. I will now begin to try and tell you what my job is like. This job is not particularily remarkable in any way, except that it is located in High Prairie. This single, seemingly unremarkable fact can flip the world upside down, yet those who live here never seem to realize it. Allow me to elaborate ( and if you don't want to, TOUGH! It's my site, I get to rant if and when I want, so nyaaa! X^P ).
I work the graveyard shift at the High Prairie Inn, as a Front Desk Night Auditor. This means that, in addition to checking guests in and out, setting wake-up calls, helping guests with whatever I can, and helping the Bistro and Lounge staff when needed, I am also responsible for printing more reports per night than the FBI, balancing and restarting the Bistro and Lounge's Interac machines and the Front Desk's, and ensuring that everything (including the computers) is balanced, reset, and ready for business the next day. I also have to empty and balance five VLT's (video lottery terminals...just think slot machines without the lever to pull), and prepare the bank deposits for the VLT's as well as all cashouts from the Bistro, Lounge and Front Desk.
This sounds like more than one person could ever get done in 7 hours (since the last hour is usually spent checking guests out and helping the morning Clerk get going), but once you get the routine down, it's not usually that big a deal. There's also something to be said for working a grave shift...yes, working through the night and sleeping all day isn't so hot, but I get to bring in CD's to listen to all night, I'm alone (and thusly my job suits me), and it's usually pretty quiet and stress-free. Usually.
This is where living in High Prairie can flip even the simplest thing, like a nice easy job, on its ear. Let me tell you a story about Monday night. It was about 1:30 a.m. and I was just settling into my routine, waiting for the Lounge to close at 3:00 so I could start shutting everything down. All of a sudden I hear loud shouting and glass breaking in the Lounge, and T phones. She tells me to call the cops, which I immediately do. The arguement (which very nearly turned into a full-scale brawl) spilled outside the Lounge and into the Lobby. Both waitresses were outside, telling some to go to their rooms (yes, it sounds funny, but it's very true...grown men, having young girls my age scolding them and sending them to their room. Actually it's kind of sad). I was keeping a close eye on everything, trying to decide which patrons were just bystanders and which were the instigators.
Anyway, the R.C.M.P. show up a few minutes later, as everyone is finally clearing out. I don't know for sure what the arguement was about, but I was told by one person that it was between two guys and a couple of young men, barely 18, who apparently work for the local drug dealer in town. According to this guy, they were trying to conduct business and got caught by these guys, who'd both had way too much to drink. They figured it was their responsibility to try and beat these pushers senseless.
*Shrug* Anyhow, this is life in High Prairie. Not all the time, and not always this bad, but this is just one reason why nothing in this town really surprises me anymore. I was struck with the thought, as the people dissipated and the peace was restored, that before starting work at the Inn, I'd never had cause to phone the police even once. In fact, I used to be terrified that some day I might actually have to call 911, and they might think there wasn't cause for it. Then they'd come and yank my phone out of the wall, call me names, and fine me heavily (or maybe arrest me). Stupid? Of course I am, but I really used to be intimidated by uniforms. Now I can call them without even a second thought? I counted, as the night wore on, and I think since Sept. I've called the R.C.M.P. about 10 or 12 times now...
Then I thought "Wouldn't a respectable hotel in Edmonton be horrified to call the police for such a thing? It would be a tarnish on their reputation!" Hm. But in High Prairie, the Inn is only contending with the brand new Pomeroy Inn for the "Best Hotel" bragging rights. And we have reason to call the police almost every six weeks. Sad, very sad.
And, as if to prove my point, as I was typing this, our Night Manager told me he'd heard this very morning, a woman was stabbed by her boyfriend, who then stabbed himself. Neither died, but it just seemed ironic that, as I'm on a rant about the Underbelly of High Prairie, I hear yet another story about how scabby it can be.
Yet, as I had stressed earlier, High Prairie is not a bad place to live! Truthfully, there is far more good than evil in this town, which is why many good people still live here. So if you're reading this and think "My God, I have to drive through there on my way to Such-and-Such", don't fret. This was just my rant, and rants tend to turn out very one-sided. Remember to hit "reset" and imagine me reading it through a gi-normously huge grin. Then believe that it's really a good town, just with its own bad element, as all towns are sure to have.
I work the graveyard shift at the High Prairie Inn, as a Front Desk Night Auditor. This means that, in addition to checking guests in and out, setting wake-up calls, helping guests with whatever I can, and helping the Bistro and Lounge staff when needed, I am also responsible for printing more reports per night than the FBI, balancing and restarting the Bistro and Lounge's Interac machines and the Front Desk's, and ensuring that everything (including the computers) is balanced, reset, and ready for business the next day. I also have to empty and balance five VLT's (video lottery terminals...just think slot machines without the lever to pull), and prepare the bank deposits for the VLT's as well as all cashouts from the Bistro, Lounge and Front Desk.
This sounds like more than one person could ever get done in 7 hours (since the last hour is usually spent checking guests out and helping the morning Clerk get going), but once you get the routine down, it's not usually that big a deal. There's also something to be said for working a grave shift...yes, working through the night and sleeping all day isn't so hot, but I get to bring in CD's to listen to all night, I'm alone (and thusly my job suits me), and it's usually pretty quiet and stress-free. Usually.
This is where living in High Prairie can flip even the simplest thing, like a nice easy job, on its ear. Let me tell you a story about Monday night. It was about 1:30 a.m. and I was just settling into my routine, waiting for the Lounge to close at 3:00 so I could start shutting everything down. All of a sudden I hear loud shouting and glass breaking in the Lounge, and T phones. She tells me to call the cops, which I immediately do. The arguement (which very nearly turned into a full-scale brawl) spilled outside the Lounge and into the Lobby. Both waitresses were outside, telling some to go to their rooms (yes, it sounds funny, but it's very true...grown men, having young girls my age scolding them and sending them to their room. Actually it's kind of sad). I was keeping a close eye on everything, trying to decide which patrons were just bystanders and which were the instigators.
Anyway, the R.C.M.P. show up a few minutes later, as everyone is finally clearing out. I don't know for sure what the arguement was about, but I was told by one person that it was between two guys and a couple of young men, barely 18, who apparently work for the local drug dealer in town. According to this guy, they were trying to conduct business and got caught by these guys, who'd both had way too much to drink. They figured it was their responsibility to try and beat these pushers senseless.
*Shrug* Anyhow, this is life in High Prairie. Not all the time, and not always this bad, but this is just one reason why nothing in this town really surprises me anymore. I was struck with the thought, as the people dissipated and the peace was restored, that before starting work at the Inn, I'd never had cause to phone the police even once. In fact, I used to be terrified that some day I might actually have to call 911, and they might think there wasn't cause for it. Then they'd come and yank my phone out of the wall, call me names, and fine me heavily (or maybe arrest me). Stupid? Of course I am, but I really used to be intimidated by uniforms. Now I can call them without even a second thought? I counted, as the night wore on, and I think since Sept. I've called the R.C.M.P. about 10 or 12 times now...
Then I thought "Wouldn't a respectable hotel in Edmonton be horrified to call the police for such a thing? It would be a tarnish on their reputation!" Hm. But in High Prairie, the Inn is only contending with the brand new Pomeroy Inn for the "Best Hotel" bragging rights. And we have reason to call the police almost every six weeks. Sad, very sad.
And, as if to prove my point, as I was typing this, our Night Manager told me he'd heard this very morning, a woman was stabbed by her boyfriend, who then stabbed himself. Neither died, but it just seemed ironic that, as I'm on a rant about the Underbelly of High Prairie, I hear yet another story about how scabby it can be.
Yet, as I had stressed earlier, High Prairie is not a bad place to live! Truthfully, there is far more good than evil in this town, which is why many good people still live here. So if you're reading this and think "My God, I have to drive through there on my way to Such-and-Such", don't fret. This was just my rant, and rants tend to turn out very one-sided. Remember to hit "reset" and imagine me reading it through a gi-normously huge grin. Then believe that it's really a good town, just with its own bad element, as all towns are sure to have.
Wednesday, March 08, 2006
Post Number One: Enter the Genius
Well, isn't this interesting? Someone has decided that, rather than spend a few minutes living their own life, they'll read about the rollicking adventures of KojiroMusashi, a.k.a. The Dim-Witted Genius, a.k.a. me. I warn you now, no information that could jeopardize national security will be divulged. No information which might prove a source of revenue for unscrupulous characters will be leaked. And no highly embarrassing stories will be told about your host. Period.
On the other hand, you may find my thoughts enlightening, or at least good for a laugh. You might find that you agree wholeheartedly with me on some issues, and disagree vehemently with me on others. This is where the "comments" section will prove very useful, as you can praise my logic, or decry it, and others can read your views and do likewise.
Also, as life in High Prairie, the small town where I live, is not exactly the most interesting place in the world, some of my posts may be, shall we say, exaggerated to some extent. Some will not. It will be you, the reader, who will be responsible for sorting out fact from fiction. Who knows, I just might start a story or two. Names and places may be changed to protect the guilty, or the innocent, depending on whom I sympathize with. Stay tuned!
On the other hand, you may find my thoughts enlightening, or at least good for a laugh. You might find that you agree wholeheartedly with me on some issues, and disagree vehemently with me on others. This is where the "comments" section will prove very useful, as you can praise my logic, or decry it, and others can read your views and do likewise.
Also, as life in High Prairie, the small town where I live, is not exactly the most interesting place in the world, some of my posts may be, shall we say, exaggerated to some extent. Some will not. It will be you, the reader, who will be responsible for sorting out fact from fiction. Who knows, I just might start a story or two. Names and places may be changed to protect the guilty, or the innocent, depending on whom I sympathize with. Stay tuned!
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